


just look real deep into my eyes (i can't live without you by my side)

by lilykat



Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [7]
Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Non-Explicit Sex, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilykat/pseuds/lilykat
Summary: Black and White cross a line and then something bad happens.(I fucking suck at summaries)
Relationships: Black & Orange (Among Us), Black & White (Among Us), Black/White (Among Us), Orange & Yellow (Among Us)
Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986031
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	just look real deep into my eyes (i can't live without you by my side)

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually finished a few days ago but I kept adding stuff and the first 3000 words of this part were completely unplanned and were not supposed to be apart of the story. I completely blame it on the music I happened to be listening to when I wrote those scenes.

White had been sleeping in his room now. Which was the best and also the worst thing to happen to Black. The soft touches and the caring looks would overwhelm him from time to time. It would make his skin itch and overload his senses. He went through small periods where White’s touch was all he craved and other times White’s touch made him flinch. Something must be wrong with him, actually, something is completely wrong with him. 

Something he had gotten used to was White sleeping next to him. He didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep without him there but his weird touch problem sometimes made it a bit difficult. Especially since White’s fingers automatically dug under his shirt to touch the skin at his waist.

Tonight, though, was a good night and his skin didn’t itch when White touched him. In fact, Black was desperate for more and when White’s fingers dipped a little too close to the waistband of his sweats, his skin erupted into flames. He sat up and hastily tugged his shirt off and threw it carelessly to the side. He lied down on his back and closed his eyes, not wanting to show just how desperate he was. 

“Can I?” White’s voice was soft and strained and want laced every letter.

He nodded his head not trusting his voice. Something pained erupted from his throat when White touched him, muscles twitching under the fingers, his body confused in what it wanted. Black had never exposed this much skin to White and he was terrified, remembering all the small scars scattered around his body. White’s fingers were so gentle and thorough in their exploration. White touched him like he was something breakable, something to cherish, and Black wanted to cry. His fingers explored everywhere he could, occasionally running along his waistband and making Black whimper involuntarily and pathetically. He kept praising him. Calling him _perfect_ , _gorgeous_ , _you look good like this_ , _you’re so fucking perfect to me_. Black didn’t care if he was saying these things in the heat of the moment, all he knew is that he was falling even more in love with him.

White added gentle scratches and Black shivered. White drew a line up his chest and neck and ended up at his lips. Black was breathing heavily, his hips twitching up of their own accord, trying to find some friction and becoming frustrated when there was none. He heard White chuckle, something low and deep and Black’s hips moved again. White was tracing his face, more praises accompanying the gentle touches.

He grabbed White’s hand and trailed it down his body until it was at his waistband.

“Please,” his voice was desperate and broken and thick with want. He shivered when White’s hand dipped under his waistband, more praises falling from his lips in a low voice.

  
White sent him a wink and he hated that his cheeks heated up, mumbling curses in Spanish as he glared at him. As much as he loved and absolutely enjoyed the wicked things White had done to him, he didn’t like this. White now knew some of the spots that made him melt and become so _so_ pliant and he kept touching them every chance he got. A sensitive spot on his neck, his hip, the small of his back. A gentle kiss to his inner wrist completely melted his brain and now White knew all these things, he enjoyed watching Black squirm.

He grumbled some more as they left storage and headed to the front of the ship. As soon as Black knew they were alone, he pulled White into navigation and pushed him against the wall. He lifted White’s head up and to the left and planted a small curious kiss to his exposed neck. He delighted in feeling White shudder against him and the bruising grip he now had on Black’s hips. Black ran his tongue along a tendon and closed his mouth around a random spot, sucking down hard. White’s pulse was racing and he was letting out all these helpless little noises, his grip becoming even tighter and pulling Black closer. Black was thoroughly enjoying this, getting revenge for the absolute hell White put him through today. 

He unzipped White’s suit a little and pulled it down to expose his collarbone. He peppered open-mouthed kisses down to the exposed skin, adding some teeth into the mix and enjoying the twitch in White’s hips. He kissed and sucked and licked, biting gently every now and then. He trailed to the other side and nuzzled his way up to the opposite side of White’s neck. He was trembling, his hips twitching and rolling towards Black. He pulled away and looked at all the possessive marks he left on either side of his neck and collarbone. He zipped up White’s suit and fixed it. He’d admit that he might’ve gone a little overboard but he at least made sure to keep the marks out of sight, mostly anyway. 

He smirked wickedly and sidestepped White, to open up a panel next to him and started fixing the wires. He couldn’t help the pleased smile on his face as he watched White try and get his breathing under control, his body still trembling, the blacks in his eyes drowning out any color. “You fucking asshole,” White grumbled, his voice shaky and so low in his throat it sent a shiver down Black’s spine. 

He snorted and fixed the last wire before shutting the panel. “I think you have a task in admin,” he reminded White with a cheeky smile. 

“I’ll get you back for that,” he said as he led them out navigation and back towards admin.

“And I’m sure I’ll enjoy whatever is you want to do to me,” he winked at him. He liked this, he _loved_ this. But this was probably stupid. They were crossing a line and maybe if Black didn’t love him and was only physically attracted to him, maybe this would be okay. But Black _is_ in love with him and they were physically getting closer and this would hurt him in the long run. But he really fucking enjoyed the way White looked at him with so much want, so maybe he should just enjoy what they have right now. _Don’t be greedy and wish for more._

Pink and Green were in admin when they got there. The air got tense immediately and Black felt it press against his skin. He wanted to leave but he forced his feet to stay planted next to White. Yellow and Orange joined them a few seconds later, walking around the table to do card swipe. They both had knowing smiles on their faces and kept giggling in their direction. The air becoming lighter due to their happy energies.

Black furrowed his brows, “What?”

Orange laughed loudly, “If you see these two alone in a room together, I’d give them some space.” She pointed her fingers at the two of them while wiggling her eyebrows. Yellow covering her mouth as she giggled.

Black and White looked at each other, their cheeks heating up. “What are you talking about?”

“We were sitting on cams and saw you two getting a little heated against a wall in nav,” Yellow said a smile fighting its way onto her face. 

Pink snapped her head to them, “You’re finally done pining? Are you two a thing?” Her hand landed on Green’s shoulder and started shaking him in excitement. He looked a little confused at what was going on. Despite the embarrassment Black was feeling, he liked that everything felt normal even if it was just a little bit.

Black’s cheeks were completely red by this point, “No, no we’re not. We weren’t- That was just, uh, that was…”. He waved his hands around wildly trying to find words, any word at this point, just something to say. He looked to White for help, who was equally red and stammering out words that also weren’t making sense.

Pink laughed and shook her head, “So I still have to watch this painful pining then?”

He almost nodded but he stopped himself. Maybe he should tell White. Maybe he should put a stop to this. Maybe they shouldn’t sleep in the same bed anymore. Maybe, maybe, maybe, they really shouldn’t be doing this. But Black loved the feeling of White’s hands and lips on him and he loved White trembling against him as he did something as simple as kiss his neck. Maybe he should stop thinking, stop overthinking everything. Maybe if his feelings weren’t so consuming he could shove them in a box and just enjoy this while it lasts. But that wasn’t the case so he’d swallow the words he wanted to say and keep quiet. 

He was glad to drag White out of there as soon he finished his tasks. “Maybe we shouldn’t do anything out in the open,” he said as they walked through the cafeteria. 

“It was kinda fun though,” White admitted quietly. Black looked at him with a raised brow and he hid that little bit of information somewhere in his brain for later use. He grabbed some snacks and led them back to his room.

He deposited the food onto his desk, tugged off his suit, and then collapsed onto his bed with a tired sigh. He rolled onto his back and snapped his eyes open when images from his most recent nightmare popped into his head. White’s mangled body lied broken in front of the window in storage, backlit eerily by the stars, Purple’s body floating by peacefully. He rubbed his eyes harshly and glanced at White to reassure himself. 

White was tearing into one of the granola bars as he clumsily took his suit off. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself, “Te amo.” Oh. Oh fuck. He knew White didn’t know much Spanish, just enough to greet someone and say goodbye, but most people seemed to know those words. They were easy words to learn, easy to pronounce, and maybe White knew what it meant. He waited with bated breath for whatever White would say. He pushed himself up and to the edge of the bed, watching White as he still tried to awkwardly take his suit off without dropping his granola bar. A large part of him hoped White wouldn’t understand but a whisper in the back of his mind hoped White did. Maybe he’d be able to breathe easier if White knew.

“What,” White turned to him, chewing quietly on his granola bar. Nothing on his face showed that he knew what _te amo_ meant. There was a gentle curiosity but nothing more.

He waved it off, his heart hammering in his chest and his fingernails digging into the heels of his palms, “Never mind, it’s nothing important.”

“Are you sure? What did you say?”

“An insult,” he smiled. He wasn’t completely lying, White deserved someone so much better than him that loving him was an insult. White deserved someone stable, someone who didn’t have a weird touching problem, someone who wasn’t overthinking everything all the fucking time, someone who didn’t have panic attacks and nightmares, someone who didn’t trust so easily and give his heart away to anyone who showed him a small amount of kindness.

White glared with no heat behind it. He pointed at him, “One day I’m gonna learn Spanish and insult the shit out of you.”

“Looking forward to it.”

He can’t fucking believe he told White that he loves him. Them sharing a room together, them sleeping in the same bed together, all of this was bad. They shouldn’t be doing this. Black shouldn’t have given in to his lust because now his tongue is loose around White. What if he says it again but in English and White looks at him _with pity because he doesn’t love me back and because White is so kind and sweet, he lets me down easy and fucking apologizes for not loving me back because that’s the kind of person he is, so so sweet and so so deserving of someone better than me-_

“What are you overthinking about,” White was suddenly kneeling in front of him, looking up into his eyes.

He rubbed his hands down his face, “All the impostor shit.” 

“I feel like it’s pointless to tell you to try and not think about anything so maybe just try and think about something else,” he said, “something that doesn’t make you look like you want to throw yourself out the airlock.”

Of course, his mind immediately turned to the man in front of him. He internally rolled his eyes at himself. “I’ll try,” he promised. He pushed himself further on the bed mainly to put some space between them because White staring up at him the way he was made heat coil low in his stomach. And then he couldn’t breathe, in a good way, when White crawled up after him, straddling his thighs. Fuck, he should stop this. He should really stop this before he shouts ‘I love you’ from the top of his lungs. _Fuck, fuck, fuck-_

And then White was asking permission to take his shirt off and Black was saying _please_ before he could stop himself. And then White was touching everywhere, so gentle, so fucking careful and thorough and praising him so so much. 

_You’re beautiful._   
_You're perfect._   
_You’re absolutely gorgeous._   
_You’re so good, so fucking good._   
_Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous._   
_You’re so good for me, always so good._

Black’s brain was no longer working. Not when the words kept rolling out of his mouth, not when White was rolling his hips against his, not when he was pulling his head back to get revenge on him for earlier. Especially not when White brought their foreheads together oh so gently and then leaned in for the barest brush of their lips. The slightest touch overloaded his senses. It’s not like Black hasn’t been kissed before, it’s just that, he’s never loved anyone the way he does White and that made everything so much better. So much brighter.

White leaned back, glancing down at his lips, silently asking permission for more. Black leaned up into him, White can have everything he fucking he wanted. White’s hands were in his hair, tugging and scratching his scalp, sending shivers down Black’s spine. Then White was pulling away and teasing his fingers into Black’s mouth, getting them wet before dragging them down to swirl around one of his nipples while White continued attacking his neck with open-mouthed kisses. He arched his back, loving and hating how sensitive his skin was, and muffled his moan by biting down into White’s shoulder. His mouth met cloth and he impatiently pushed White away to tug his shirt off. Black’s mind froze when White leaned into him to resume kissing his neck and their chests pressed together. So much heat, their heartbeats fluttering like crazy. 

So many sensations were rolling through him. Their chests touching, White a heavy and pleasant weight on his lap, a wet warmth on his neck, a hand in his hair, a hand roaming his chest. It was all setting his senses haywire. He was wrapped in White and he was wondering why they didn’t fucking do this sooner. His mind went blank when White maneuvered them on the bed, the movement causing their dicks to roll deliciously against each other, and then he pushed Black flat on his back. Black’s hips instinctively bucked up, moaning and gripping White’s thighs. Fuck, the way White was looking down at him, his eyes mostly pupil, mouth parted, his hair all mussed up. “Fuck, you’re so _so_ gorgeous,” the words were strained and trembling but he delighted in the shy grin White gave him.

Black tried to flip them over, desperately wanting to do something to White. To try and pour his love into everything he’d do. Touch him, taste him, make him make those broken little noises again. But White forced his hips down and planted his palms flat against his chest. “It’s been all about me,” Black said breathlessly, “let me do something for you.” White let him get as far as unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans before gently pushing his hands away.

He leaned down, exploring Black’s chest with his mouth this time. “I want it to be about you and, honestly, just watching you come undone is enough right now, ‘cause you have no fucking clue how gorgeous you are.” Black was painfully hard by this point, the words White was saying making his mind go blank. White tugging down his waistband a little to suck and bite at his hip before trailing back up again wasn’t helping Black try and get his mind a little clearer. He kept trying to find some sort of friction but White wasn’t allowing him, pinning his hands above his head when he tried to rub himself through his sweats. Black was trying to thrust up but White was purposefully moving his hips away. He whimpered embarrassingly and his thighs were trembling. “Fuck, White, please,” he didn’t care what he was pleading for, he just- he needed White to do something, anything.

White wiggled his hips down teasingly and despite the wicked grin, his words came out soft, “What do you want me to do?”

Everything. He wanted him to touch, taste, he wanted White to do whatever he wanted. “Anything, please, soy tuyo.”

White trailed kisses down his chest, stopping frequently to pay special attention to his scars. He licked and sucked and bit his way down, everything making Black’s mind go hazy and making his body desperately hungry. Suddenly White was between his trembling thighs on his knees, dragging his sweats down with him. Then Black was being enveloped by wet heat and he was arching his back and twisting his hands painfully in the sheets.

He really should stop this.

His tablet beeped letting him know he was done downloading. He unplugged it from the wall and lightly kicked White’s foot, startling him awake from where he had been dozing against the wall. “Do you have anything on the way to admin,” he asked, walking out into the hallway, staring down at his tablet to check what he had left.

“No, my last one was wires, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot, sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he explained, yawning after he said that.

“Another nightmare? You can wake me up if you have one,” he said, “In fact, I want you to wake me up if you have one.” Fuck, Black loved him so much.

“I promise I will.” White gave him a look. “I promise!” He wasn’t lying, he would, but he didn’t have a nightmare last night. Ever since White had given him a blowjob a few days earlier, his nightmares had turned into very pleasant dreams. He’s acting like a horny teenager and he hates it. He hates everything White makes him feel but that’s a lie because he fucking loves it.

He was barely a minute into his uploading task when Orange was barging into the room asking for help with moving some heavy equipment around in medbay. His anxiety kicked up when White said he’d help.

“It’ll probably only take a few minutes, I’ll be back, I promise.”

Black’s shoulders tensed up as he stood there alone. Uploading seemed to be taking even longer. Something bad was going to happen, he could feel it deep in his bones. Or maybe that was his anxiety playing up his fears. He tried to take a few calming breathes, trying to keep his breathing normal instead of feeling like there’s no air in the room and he’s suffocating and his lungs aren’t working right and-

“Fucking stop,” he muttered to himself, thumping his head back against the wall. The dull pain bringing him out of his thoughts which he was grateful for. He looked down, just a few more minutes and he was free to go and find White.

Just a few more minutes.

His tablet beeped just as the doors to admin shut and locked. He dropped the tablet on the floor and hurried to the door. He banged his fists on it and tried in vain to open it. It was sealed shut and he was alone and he had no idea where White was or who he was with. He tried to stamp down his anxiety and fears and push away the images of his nightmares because right now he needed a clear head and panicking wasn’t going to help him. He pressed his ear to the door and forced himself out of his head and tried to pick out any noise.

It was muffled and he pressed himself harder into the door to hear it but he could make out multiple footsteps running towards the back of the ship. An even more muffled scream of pain and then whatever else that noise was moved too far for him to hear.

He almost fell forward when the door hissed open. He stumbled through and ran to where the noises were coming from. He saw a flash of pink coming towards him and he stumbled back, afraid of her. Something broken crossed her face when he flinched away from her but she grabbed a hold of his wrist and yanked him in the direction she had come from. He had to run to keep up with her.

She briefly informed him that they needed help, badly. She rounded the hallway that leads to reactor and he stood frozen in his spot, Pink being pulled back when he stopped moving. Blood was soaking through White’s suit with Orange kneeling beside him trying to patch him up as best as she could.

Pink was forcefully making him look at her, “I know! I know you want to stay and make sure he’s okay but we really fucking need you elsewhere right now.” And then she pulling him further down the hall and into reactor.

Everything was happening too fast for his mind to keep up. His brain still in shock from seeing White pale and muffling groans of pain into a piece of cloth that had been shoved into his mouth. But what was happening right now made him snap out of it. He had no time to feel betrayed as he and Pink jumped in to help.

Blue was the one to manage a hit that knocked Yellow off course for a few seconds, allowing Black and Green to pin her to the floor which gave Pink a chance to knock her out with a very painful sounding punch to her face. Yellow’s head slammed into the floor beneath her and bounced a few times before she was out. 

He looked down at her, remembering how unnatural some things seemed about her when he ran into reactor. Her teeth razor-sharp, and her disturbingly wide smile, her sharp claws that left scratches scattered around his chest and arms. Right now, though, she looked normal and peaceful. She looked like the Yellow he had grown to like and care about. The person who was so bouncy and energetic all the time. The person he had shared smiles with and told her personal things. She had listened and comforted him. Rubbing his back and giving him advice that had actually helped. He trusted her, he _had_ trusted her and she left White in a pool of blood.

His body flooded with anger and he backed away from her. He clenched his jaw and looked at Pink, silently asking for permission to leave. 

Her shoulders were tense and she looked just as angry, hurt, and betrayed. She caught his eyes and nodded her head towards the door. He felt bad leaving her here but she had Blue and Green with her so he left only feeling slightly guilty. He broke into a sprint and his heart squeezed painfully at the pool of blood, now dried and smudged. White and Orange were no longer there but he knew where they probably were.

White was lying on a bed in the medbay. His clothes were discarded in a bloody pile next to a cart with equally bloody tools that he assumed Orange had used on him.

“He’s on some painkillers so he’ll be out for a few hours,” Orange stood quietly next to him, her hands slipping comfortingly into his. “He has some stitches and I’ll have to watch for infection or just anything unusual ‘cause I don’t if Yellow has anything weird in those claws, like poison or something, but right now, he’s doing fine. He asked for you before passing out.”

He gratefully accepted the chair she rolled to him and he sat down, pulling himself closer to White’s bed. Orange’s hand moved to his shoulder and she gripped it painfully. “Did- did they, uh, get her?”

He allowed himself a few seconds to drink in White before he twisted in the chair to look up at her. He nodded and a swirl of emotions passed across her face. Relief. Hurt. Betrayal. Sadness. Anger. Exhaustion.

Her shoulders started shaking and she would’ve fallen forward if he hadn’t stood up in time to catch her. She started sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her. She was the closest to Yellow. They were assigned partners, Pink said that their personalities had fit well with each other. And they did- _had_. They were easily drawn to each other, a fast friendship that had surprised no one. They were both so energetic, always on the same wavelength, sending looks to each other that no one else could understand. 

He wondered if Yellow felt regret for betraying Orange, even just a little. If she felt remorse for all the pain she was causing them right now and in the past. 

They stood there until his legs were aching and he eventually maneuvered them onto an unoccupied bed across from White. She collapsed, absolutely exhausted, and promptly passed out. He dragged a blanket over her and just looked at her for a few seconds before lightly squeezing her shoulder. He looked back at White and relief shuddered through him, he hurried back to the chair and flopped onto it, his limbs heavy and tired. Small stings of pain flared up whenever he moved his arms and upper body, pulling on all the cuts Yellow left on his body. _Great, more fucking scars._

He didn’t even know how to feel right now. The only two emotions he was sure of was the relief of White being okay and the betrayal of Yellow being an impostor. Everything else he could sort out later. He's lying because he’s too fucking tired to sort through all of his other emotions. And honestly, right now he doesn’t care. The only thing he cares about is the man lying on the bed in front of him. And the fact that he’s breathing, that he’s alive, that he could’ve fucking died and Black would’ve been so lost without him. The love pulsing through his veins was so deep and aching and so consuming. What if this was the push he needed to finally tell White, in English this time. He felt a surge of confidence, maybe he could hold onto it long enough for White to wake up and he could finally tell him.

He looked at White’s face, so serene and peaceful.

_What the fuck would I do without you?_


End file.
